I'll Be Glad When You're Dead, You Wolverine
by ColdFusion180
Summary: Sabertooth gets to do a full-length solo while visualizing about his most infamous rivalry.


**I'll Be Glad When You're Dead, You Wolverine**

"Heh!" Sabertooth chuckled as he sat in the Control Room of the Acolyte base. He was monitoring the surveillance devices the Acolytes had planted at the X-Mansion to listen in on the X-Men's conversations. Particularly those conversations involving a certain feral Canadian mutant.

"_I can't take it anymore,_" He heard Logan mutter unsteadily. "_I don't care what Chuck says. I am never riding in another vehicle when Half-Pint's behind the wheel! It's too dangerous!_"

"Oh, this is good," Sabertooth chortled at Logan's discomfort.

"_I swear that girl drives like a maniac!_" Logan's voice began to shake. "_I've gone on suicide missions that were less scary! Even my healing factor is having a problem recovering from all the times it's had to restart my heart after riding with her!_"

"Hahahahaha!" Sabertooth threw back his head and guffawed. "Look how far you have fallen, Runt! You are so pathetic! Can't even deal riding with a teeny, air-headed girl! How bad could it be?"

Sabertooth turned off the equipment and walked out of the room while continuing to snicker to himself. "Keep it up, Runt. Act weak. Give in to your fears. Keep hiding behind Xavier and all your other bodyguards. You need them to protect you and conceal the fact that you're a complete wimp!"

"But we both know the truth. And I will make you pay for everything you've done to me. One day you'll be alone and forced to face me man-to-man. And when it's over," Sabertooth began to laugh wickedly. "_I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine! I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!_"

Sabertooth grinned as he pictured Logan's demise. "_You know you've done me wrong! So your pain I will prolong! I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!"_

"_I'm gonna kill you just for fun, you Wolverine!_"Sabertooth laughed and began to actually skip down the hallway. "_I'm gonna kill you 'til I'm done, you Wolverine!_"

Sabertooth entered the recreation room. He grabbed a cushion from the couch and proceeded to claw it to shreds. "_I'm gonna kill you 'til you're dead! Rip the brains right from your head! I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!_"

"_I'm gonna tear you clean apart, you Wolverine!_" Sabertooth destroyed several more cushions while pretending each one had Logan's face on it. "_I'm gonna gut you as an art, you Wolverine!_"

Sabertooth grabbed a chair and, viewing it as Logan, demonstrated his techniques on it. "_Adamantium bones or not! Your limbs I'll tear right off to rot! I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!_"

"_Ain't no use to hide or run, you Wolverine!_"Sabertooth left the recreation room and skipped down the hall again, occasionally slicing at the walls and leaving deep claw marks in them. "_I'm a tracker second to none, you Wolverine! I'll hunt you 'round the bend! And still kill you in the end! I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!_"

"_I'm gonna feast right on your flesh, you Wolverine!" _Sabertooth entered the kitchen and open the refrigerator. He took out a small smoked ham shank and chowed down, picturing it as Logan's neck. _"I'll eat your heart while it is fresh, you Wolverine!_"

Sabertooth grinned as he tore off a large chunk of meat and swallowed it hungrily. "_I know you won't mind as I snack! On your bloody cardiac_! _I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!_"

Sabertooth finished off the ham and belched as he casually spat out the bones. He started down the hallway once again. "_I'm gonna dance over your grave, you Wolverine! It will be a total rave, you Wolverine!_"

Sabertooth cackled as happily danced down the hallway. "_I will gladly twist the knife! When I finally take your life! I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!_"

"What the heck is going on here?" Magneto demanded entering the hallway. "What is with all the claw marks on the walls? Victor did manage to get your hands on more valerian...AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!"

"_I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!_" Sabertooth threw Magneto into a wall and punched him in the head, his mental state causing him to see Logan's face instead of Magneto's. He then danced on Magneto's form a bit before waltzing away. "_I'll be glad when you're dead, you Wolverine!_"

"Ohhhhhh," Magneto warbled painfully right before he passed out. "And I thought Pyro's obsessions were bad."

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "I'll Be Glad When You're Dead, You Rascal You".<strong>


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